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My Cancer Experience (Prerelease Draft) A year ago (1/3/2004), while I was receiving my yearly breast exam, the radiologist told me that there was something "funny" in my right breast. She suggested that I should have a biopsy performed. Because of various reasons, I wasn’t able to have it done till April 11. On April 11, I underwent the surgical biopsy. The pathological report of the biopsy showed that I had breast cancer. But the doctors needed to perform further surgeries in order to find out the stage of the cancer. So on April 28, I underwent the mastectomy and auxiliary nodes dissection, which are the surgeries to remove the breast as well as some auxiliary lymph nodes. The second pathological report showed that the cancer had extensive invasion into my lymphovascular system. 15 out of 38 lymph nodes have been found affected by the cancer. This is a very bad sign, a sign of poor prognosis and high risk of reoccurrence. So I was diagnosed with locally advanced breast cancer, stage 3C. (Stage 4 is late stage cancer). Because of the advanced stage of my cancer, I was recommended to receive 4 months of chemotherapy followed by 2 months of radiation therapy. Even though I received one bad news after another, I was somehow able to remain calm. I always felt God has some purpose in this, although I did not know what it was at the time. So in an email to my colleagues who sent me flowers, I wrote: "…I will do everything I can to fight the disease; also continue to pray that God may heal me, and commit my life to God as my faithful Creator, whom I believe has a good purpose for everything. As the Bible says, ‘all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose.’ (Romans 8:28)…" At the time when I wrote this, I did not know what God’s purpose was; I was speaking by faith. But now 8 months later, after 4 months of chemotherapy and 2 months of radiation therapy, I can look back and see God’s good purposes. God is so faithful. I must say that in the past 8 months I experienced the greatest blessings and joy because of God’s love, His faithfulness, His calling, and His promises... God blessed me tremendously through this whole cancer ordeal. He has turned my loss into gain, my sorrow into joy, and my calamity into the stepping-stone to a fountain of blessings. The 8 sessions of chemotherapy were like 8 sessions of spiritual lessons and faith training. During this time God revealed many precious truths to me, by which He drew me out of death into marvelous life. God has indeed fulfilled so much through my cancer ordeal. He transformed me. I give thanks to Him and praise him for the His good purposes in my life. I can’t help but say: "Thank you, Lord, for this was your good pleasure." (Matthew 11:26) These are the good purposes He has fulfilled in me through my cancer experience:
During the time of my illness, I experienced God’s love more than ever before. Since I was diagnosed with cancer, I have received tremendous support, help, kindness, compassion and love from all the people around me and all the people who know me. I view this as the love of God shown to me through all these dear people. My doctors, nurses, aestheticians and therapists gave me very tender care, both physically and emotionally. My managers and HR in Ericsson also provided me great support to help me with the short term and long term disability process. My colleagues in Ericsson sent me encouragements through email, phone calls, greeting cards, and flowers. My customers in Cingular also sent emails to me to encourage me. One Cingular customer told me that he would ask his church to pray for me. The staff from the insurance company Standard who handled my case has shown great kindness and compassion to me. My husband took a whole month of family leave to care for me after my surgery. And his company also gave him compassionate support. My parents traveled a long way from China to cook for me every day during the chemotherapy and radiation therapy. All my relatives, many from overseas, sent me consolations. My friends in my previous Bible study groups, whom I have not talked to for several years, after they heard of my affliction, came to visit me. God also sent three special angels to help me and encourage me during my illness: Cathy Cao, who is a UTD student, Cathy Chang my neighbor, and a missionary, Mrs. Tong, who is also a pastor’s wife. At another time, Mrs. Tong brought Sister Debra, who is also a breast cancer survivor, to witness to me how God helped her during her chemotherapy. Also I will not forget the patients I met in the hospital: Wilda and Jack, Janet and Marvin are two nice couples who have been very kind to me and encouraged me. Marjorie, the breast cancer survivor who volunteers in the Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas, came to see me before the surgery and give me much encouragement. My host family Martha sent me a long list of Bible verses of God’s promises on healings to encourage me. My family friend Eugene is always there to help me and encourage me. Eugene’s friend Steve sent me two videotapes to encourage me; the tapes are about a medical doctor who miraculously recovered from breast cancer by prayer and healthy living principles. I cannot take these kindnesses for granted; I know these people are God’s love manifested to me. I shall remember these kindnesses forever; they will always remind me to show kindness to others whenever I can. For I now know that a little kindness from others means so much to someone who is helpless. God also comforted me often with His own presence. When I received the bad news of cancer, I did not feel I was doomed, I was able to remain calm and hopeful because God gave me the peace of heart and mind. During my treatments, even though there were many bad side effects, I was able to remain cheerful, joyful and even felt blessed. When I was downcast, I could always resign to prayer and get comforted either directly by God’s own presence or by the people He sent to me. So I never fell into any long-term depression. I was able to recover from the surgery, the chemotherapy and the radiation therapy smoothly; all the doctors said I recovered exceptionally well. One time I amazed myself. In the evening of May 10, shortly after surgery, I sensed that God might call me to enter a full time ministry through this illness experience. I felt so blessed, as if I was the most blessed person in the world, more blessed than a new mother who just gave birth to her first child. Then I was quite amazed on this feeling. I, a woman who has no children and was just diagnosed with cancer at such young age, thought of myself as the most blessed person in the world! This is unconceivable by any worldly standard. Yes, dear Lord, the peace you gave me is indeed not of this world. It surpasses the understanding of the world, because what You prepared for those who love You is what "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived…but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit." (1 Corinthian 2:9-10) During the time of my illness, I experienced God’s faithfulness more than ever before. My experience can be related to Job’s experience recorded in the book of Job in the Bible. Job was a righteous man who lived in a very ancient time. He is said to be one of the most prosperous men of the East, with many properties and children. It is written of him that he was perfect before God. But because of a great controversy going on in heaven, God allowed Job to undergo several terrible disasters brought upon him by the Devil, in which Job lost everything, property, houses, all his children and his own health. In suffering and confusion, Job doubted God’s goodness and faithfulness; he questioned God with complaints and bitterness; but God kept silent. Job’s friends condemned Job, saying that his suffering must be the result of God’s punishment on him for some terrible sins he did not know; this in turn made Job more miserable…. Later, God spoke to Job in a whirlwind. In His answer to Job, God did not explain to Job why he was allowed to suffer, but God revealed Himself to Job who He was. This led Job to realize how foolish and self-righteous it was for him, such a small, limited and unknowing created being to judge and criticize God, the unfathomable, infinite, all-righteous Creator. In repentance, Job said, "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." (Job 42:5-6). Finally God vindicated Job and restored him and blessed him with greater health, wealth and prosperity and many more children. What Job said is also what I want to say. When I was healthy, I had heard of God and even seen Him from afar. But now the cancer experience brought me much closer to God, so close, as if I can see Him face to face—He became so real to me. He is indeed faithful. He answers my prayers. He knows my thoughts, my worries, and my desires. He cares about me. When I was downcast or having doubts, I would always resign to prayer and receive guidance and new peace and new hope from Him. He often comforted me and built me up by revealing Himself and His truth to me. Below are some of the miraculous experiences I had to illustrate God’s faithfulness. On May 5, I got the bad news: the pathological report revealed 15 out of 38 lymph nodes has been infected by cancer. A few days later I read a book written by a breast cancer survivor. The book collected hundreds of cases of breast cancer patients, in some of the cases the patients died a few years after treatments. The book also says that more than ten positive lymph nodes is an ominous sign. Upon reading this, for the first time I felt death could be so near to me. I was overshadowed by a dark cloud of fear and worry; my heart was very heavy. I realized that I could have had 30 or 40 more years to live, but also may have only 3 or 4 years or even less. I thought to myself: "I haven’t even started to share the gospel yet! I must start to dedicate myself to this work now; otherwise, I may never have a chance to do this." On May 12, a Thursday night, right before I went to bed, a Bible verse entered my mind: "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4). I somehow immediately sensed that this was God’s instruction to me regarding my cancer. "But what does it mean?" I wasn’t sure. Even though I studied this Bible verse many times before and always thought I understood this verse very well, but now it was like a riddle to me. I had no insight how it could relate to my cancer. Yet somehow I felt this was indeed God’s promise and instruction to me. The next day (Friday), I had to make a big decision: I needed to make up my mind on whether I would take chemotherapy or not. The chemotherapy was scheduled to start the following Monday. But I was very reluctant to take it. I had read about many bad side affects of chemotherapy. I was very afraid of it, thinking if the cancer does not kill me, the chemotherapy will probably destroy my health. Plus there is no medical way to know whether the chemotherapy will be effective on me or not, it serves as only an insurance—hoping it may improve my chance of survival. I knew several people of faith were healed of cancer by trusting God and prayer. So I thought maybe I should do the same—just wait for God to work a miracle to cure me. In the afternoon, when I went out for a walk, I prayed to God earnestly: "Dear God, I know that the Word you gave me last night was your promise to me. But I do not understand what it means exactly. Please make me understand its meaning." After about 10 minutes, I came to understand: God wanted me to trust in Him. Later, I got a deeper understanding of it: bread represents the material things that are needed to sustain a person’s physical life, such as food, shelter, medical care, etc. So through this verse God wanted to tell me: My life is not sustained only by those material things, but more so by God’s word, His promise and His will. In other words, God is in control of my life. Even though it seems like my life is out of control now because there is no medical way (as of yet) to completely eradicate the cancer, but God is in control. If God wills me to live, I will live. So I shall trust in Him. With this understanding, I got a lot more released from anxiety, knowing that my life is no longer like a vehicle without a steering wheel that could end up anywhere, but God is in control; therefore I do not need to fear, but only need to pray and ask God for help. But I am still facing an immediate decision to make: whether I should take chemotherapy. So I prayed: "Dear God, I know that I shall trust in You, but I do not know what Your will is regarding chemotherapy. Please tell me whether I should take chemotherapy or I should solely rely on you to work a miracle to cure me. I know I should trust in you, but I do not want to be presumptuous …" That very evening, the ABC evening news broadcasted a news item related to breast cancer: A new study showed that the chemotherapy and hormone therapy combined can improve the survival rate for younger woman as much as 50%. I knew that this was God’s answer to my prayer; I became confidant that God wanted me to undergo chemotherapy. So I was committed to the chemotherapy. From May 16 to August 22 I went through 8 sessions of chemo treatment. It turned out that God used the chemotherapy as a training school. The 8 sessions of chemotherapy were also an 8 session spiritual class. After each chemo treatment, I was given a new revelation of very precious truth that would be hard for me to learn if I had been healthy. I was greatly blessed by those truths. Back in April 2005, in an email I wrote to my colleagues who sent me flowers, I said: "…I will do everything I can to fight the disease; also continue to pray that God may heal me, and commit my life to God as my faithful Creator whom I believe has a good purpose for everything…" At the time I did not know what God’s purposes were. I had said that by faith. Three days after my first chemo treatment in May, I received a revelation from God: one of His good purposes is to make me rich—not in worldly things, but in Him. When I received this revelation, I was not completely sure whether I would indeed become rich in God after this cancer ordeal. Now, looking back, I can say that God indeed fulfilled His promise; He blessed me with more than I could imagine; He indeed made me rich. After the fourth chemo treatment in July, I fell into a depression, worrying about the side effects of the new chemo drugs for the next four treatments, especially about the large amount of steroids to be given to me. At this time, God sent Mrs. Tong to visit me. She is a woman of faith. She shared with me her own victorious experience of overcoming a bad circumstance by trusting Jesus when she was in a helpless situation in a bad accident. She encouraged me to trust God, to hold on to God and to resist the Devil’s temptation; (the Devil tempted me to complain and to lose faith in God.) She told me that God loves me very much. And she prayed for me. I believe she was one of the angels God sent to me. My friend Eugene also came to my aid. He told me the story of Lance Armstrong to encourage me. Lance Armstrong is a seven-times bicycling (Tour de France) world champion and also a cancer survivor. Seven years ago Lance was diagnosed with a late stage cancer that had only a 3% survival rate, but he defied the chance and recovered completely after chemo treatments. He was able to win several championships after the cancer treatment. After I heard the story of Lance Armstrong, I was quite inspired. I prayed to God: "Dear God, you must promise me these two things: don’t let me have any long term side effects from the cancer treatment; and never allow this cancer to come back…" One day after Gene told me Armstrong’s story, the television broadcasted the news about Lance Armstrong; he was leading the race in the Tour De France 2005 at the time. On August 22, I completed the last chemo treatment. The doctor wanted me to do a new CT scan, because the CT scan I did back in April showed a 9mm mass on my liver. The radiologist believed it likely to be benign, but it was not conclusive. It was recommended that I undergo a follow-up CT scan to compare with the old one I had in April. If the mass is unchanged in the new CT scan, that will mean it is benign. If the mass changed, either enlarged or shrunk, it will mean the mass is malignant, which will mean the breast cancer has already spread to the liver. On September 1, I had the abdominal CT scan. For several days after the CT scan, I was extremely worried. I felt my life was hanging on a thin line. I couldn’t do anything, consumed by anxiety. When I felt so helpless, I could only resign to prayer. On September 6, I prayed very earnestly: "Dear God, please save me. I do not want to go into the grave right now. You are my Savior; you are the true God and the living God. Yes, You are the ever-living God. Although I cannot see you with my eyes, you are greater and truer and more dependable than anything and everything the eyes can see. For what the eyes can see are the dead circumstances, but you are living. You speak and things come into being; You give an order and things are established. You can change the circumstances. Idols have no ears, no eyes, no feelings, no mind, but you are a living being, and the life giving Spirit. You know everything about me; you know my every thought. Before I think, you have already perceived what would be in my mind. Before I open my mouth, you have already known what I would ask. You are the greater existence than any existence the eyes can see. For all things came to existence through you and for you. You are the Logos, the very reasoning and the cause for the universe. Even if everything passes away, you endure forever. For you are the ‘I AM’, the ever-living, ever-existing God. Dear God, since you are the living God and the life giving God, I can pour my heart towards you; You will hear my prayers; You will have compassion for me. All I need to do is to keep praying to you until you give me your promise. Dear God, You are my God. You are responsible for me. From now on, the sun will no more be my light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on me. You will be my everlasting light. (Isaiah 60:19). I will walk by You. From now on I will no longer live by circumstances, but by beholding your face. You are my shepherd; I am your sheep. You take care of me. You will take full responsibility for me…" After I prayed like this for two days, I felt that I was comforted; but I still had anxiety. On the night of September 6, I felt worried again, and dreaded the possible bad report from the CT scan. My soul was like a wounded animal looking for shelter, seeking for comforts from God. While I was praying, a Bible verse entered into my mind: "by his wounds we are healed." This was a prophecy spoken through prophet Isaiah about Jesus as the suffering Messiah more than 600 years before Jesus was born, a verse I just studied a week ago: "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5) I kept praying: "yes, dear Lord, by your wounds I am healed. By your wounds I am healed…" After several minutes, an incomprehensible peace came to me; the peace became greater and greater and filled my heart. The peace was so great that I no longer worried about the CT result. I felt God has promised me that I would be fine. I no longer had anxiety at all and I fell asleep in peace. Three days later, the doctor told me the result, and it was a good result. In the week of September 17, I got sick, whether by catching a cold or an allergy. My body started to rebel. I was sick for three days and felt very weak. In the evening of September 17, at about 7 o’clock, I kept sneezing like an erupting volcano. My nose was like a leaking faucet; it kept running without stop. At the same time, it felt as dry as a burning chimney filled with smoke. I was miserable. My parents and my husband all felt sorry for me. And I was very depressed, overshadowed by a dark cloud, feeling like I was near death. Just when I was about to start to complain to God with bitterness, my conscience rebuked me: "why should I focus on a little bit of suffering I am undergoing right now? Why should I complain to God for such a small matter? God has already promised to heal my cancer in the night of September 6. He listened to my prayer so faithfully and gave me the assurance with the verse ‘by his wounds we are healed.’ God has already done such a great thing for me. What more do I want Him to do?" On this thought I couldn’t help but pray: "Dear God, thank your for curing my cancer." As soon as I finished this prayer, miraculously, my sneezing stopped. And for the rest of that evening I did not sneeze even once. I knew that this was a miracle God worked to let me know that He heard my prayer and accepted my thanksgiving. This also means that He indeed promised to cure my cancer, since He accepted my thanksgiving. From the very day I was diagnosed with cancer, I have always felt that one of the reasons I got this cancer might be that God wanted to test me. This feeling was later confirmed by the mouth of a young nurse. Her name is Sheila. I was with her for only 10 minutes in my whole life, but God used her to tell me this. On May 1, 2005, after two days of hospital stay due to the surgery, I was about to go home. The nurse Sheila insisted to accompany my husband and me to the parking lot. When she chatted with me, she pointed to my husband asking: " Is this your husband?" I said: "Yes". Then she asked: "Do you have any children?" I said: "No, I don’t have any children and probably will never have children because I am 40 years old and I had breast cancer." She said: "God is testing you. Anything is possible." I said: "Yes!" Then I hugged her and wished God to bless her and said goodbye to her. From this I knew that God wanted to test me through this cancer experience. Indeed, God tested me many times during the cancer ordeal, to see whether I would endure hardship by faith. I am by nature a pessimist, easy to be affected by negative feelings, easy to lose faith. Before I became truly close to God, my mood was always up and down. My feelings were tied to circumstances. When I was blessed, I would feel ecstatic and take the blessings for granted. When I was in adversities, I would feel miserable and tend to complain and grumble: "Oh God, why do you make me go though this?", like the Israelites in Exodus. I was also often judgmental, like Job, questioning God’s goodness and faithfulness, and lacked a sense of security. In the past few years, God gradually changed me through his Words and the teachings and examples of other Christians and many other trials. I learned to handle adversity by praying instead of by complaining. When I encounter bad circumstances, I learned to be submissive, to wait upon the Lord with patience and to rejoice in the Lord with thanksgiving. And as a result, God allowed me to taste the fruit of the Spirit spoken in Galatians 5:22-23— "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control," even in the mist of adversities. My training in prayer and my diligent self-study of the Bible for the past few years really paid off. It enabled me to hold on to God and to not lose faith during this difficult time. Several times during the cancer treatment, I was overwhelmed by negative feelings because of the bad side effects and by worrying about the future. I was tempted (by the Devil) to complain and feel bitter, but I did not lash out my bad feelings as I did before. I did not let those bad feelings to overcome me; instead I learned to patiently endure with self-control. Those bad feelings may overwhelm me but I tried not letting them overcome me. God is merciful and faithful; He did not put me to a test that I could not bear, but always provided me a way out as He promised in the Bible. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:13). After I overcame, God also always rewarded me with a very sweet comfort, like a loving father pulling his child into his arms. "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (John 10:10) On the fourth day after my first chemo treatment, God revealed to me this: He wanted to make me rich through the cancer experience—not in the worldly treasures, but in Him. In that day’s diary (May 21) I wrote: "Dear Lord, today you gave me a most important revelation. You revealed to me your purpose for allowing me to have this cancer. You made me know that this was your purpose: You wanted to make me rich—not in the worldly things, but in the knowledge of you. I imagine, if I had an easy life, I would have been so vain, so shallow; I would have so little knowledge of you; I would have so little experience of your faithfulness and of your power; I would know you so vaguely that in the day of resurrection when I woke up in your presence, I would find myself so inadequate and deficient before you and so alienated from you; I would be so poor—like the Laodicean people in Revelation 3:14. That would be so terrible and disastrous…. So I rejoice in my sufferings. Even though in this life I may experience many sufferings, all this will not be in vain. They will add up to my heavenly treasure, my eternal inheritance…. Dear Lord, anything that can bring me closer to you, anything that can make me more acquainted with you would be a gain for me." I also wrote this: "So often, many of God’s children are too afraid of losing the temporal peace, which is the ease and comfort of this life; as a result, they could never enter God’s true rest; they could never experience God’s mighty power and faithfulness; they could never receive that most precious inheritance in heaven; consequently, they would lose the greatest blessings God wanted to bestow on them. All this is because they hold on to the ease and comfort of this life too firmly; they are unwilling to pay the price for heavenly things. They do not know this: The greatest blessings are often contained in sufferings. God often wraps up his greatest blessings with a sheet of suffering. Why? Because the most precious inheritance in heaven has to pertain to the knowledge of our Lord, since the Lord is our ultimate inheritance; and our Lord is a suffering Lord, therefore the most precious inheritance can hardly be obtained apart from some suffering. It is often through suffering that God allows us to experience the most intimate experience of Him; it is often through suffering that God enables us to participate in His divine nature. That is why the apostle Paul said: ‘Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.’ (Romans 5:3-5). That is why the apostle Paul also said: ‘Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.’ (Romans 8:17-18). "God is so eager to give this most precious inheritance—the knowledge of Christ—to His children, but many of them will refuse, saying: ‘No! No! I don’t want it; I don’t want suffering; I want ease and comfort; I want the blessings of health, wealth, and prosperity in this life!’ As a result, God has to put this best treasure back on the shelf and only give them the second best blessings, since He is a God who respects our free will. "The apostle Paul had great spiritual wisdom. He said: ‘But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ’ (Philippians 3:7-8). What can be more precious than the knowledge and the fellowship of Christ?" When I received this revelation, I was not completely sure whether I would indeed become richer in God after the cancer ordeal. Now looking back, I can say that God indeed fulfilled His promise; He blessed me with more than I could imagine; He indeed made me rich. He has accomplished so much in me. Oh Lord, how great is thy faithfulness! On May 24 and August 4, twice, God revealed to me a very important spiritual truth about investment, as follows: Our life on earth is like a devaluating currency. Each day we live is one more day we lose; each additional year we live is one less year we have. Assuming that a person will live to be 100 years old, then his life will have depreciated 1 percent when he is 1 year old, 2 percent when he is 2 years old and 50 percent when he is 50 years old; by the time he is 99 years old, his life has depreciated 99 percent. Finally, when he reaches 100 years old, his earthly life comes to an end. In other words, the devaluating currency of his earthly life has depreciated to zero. At this time, no matter how much wealth, knowledge, fame, and power he has accumulated during his lifetime, they will all come to nothing, they will all become meaningless. So King Solomon concluded in Ecclesiastes: "‘Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.’" (Ecclesiastes 1:2). Remember, King Solomon was the wealthiest, the wisest, the most famous and the most glorious and king in his time. From another perspective, the resurrected glorious life—the eternal life is like an appreciating currency. It is an infinite treasure, infinitely more precious than anything in this world. But it is not appreciated by this world right now. The majority of the people in this world do not see its value, because it does not always bring an immediate worldly benefit to this earthly life; it does not always bring ease, comfort, health, wealth and prosperity—people of the world often only pursue those things, and therefore despise this most precious treasure, the eternal life. So eternal life is like a currency not being used by this perishing world. Figuratively speaking, we can say that eternal life is not the current money of this world; it belongs to the future world, the kingdom of heaven. But the closer a person approaches the end of his earthly life, to him the less important this temporal world is and the more important that future world becomes. When a person dies, to him nothing in this world will matter anymore, the only thing that will matter is: what fate will he have in the world to come, whether eternal glory or eternal shame? Because God has promised us in the Bible: after death there will be resurrection and judgment; some will be resurrected to eternal life and glory; others will be resurrected to judgment and eternal damnation (the second death). All investors know this basic investment principle: in order to maximize the investment return, one should exchange as much as possible the depreciating currency for the appreciating currency. All investors know that when a stock starts to lose value, he should sell that stock, and sell it quickly before it depreciates further, in order to use the money he obtained from it to buy in the stocks that appreciate in value. It would be foolish for an investor to continue to accumulate a depreciating stock, knowing that it will soon depreciate to zero, and ignore the sure appreciating stock, knowing that it will soon sky rock in value. So Jesus said: "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it." (Matthew 13:44-45) But many people, while very keen on financial investment, often ignore the most important investment—the investment of their lives. Even many of God’s people (those who profess to trust in God) often love their earthly lives more than eternal life. They put their heart and soul in this perishing world, and invest most of their time, resources and energy to accumulate temporal wealth, power and fame, but do not care to invest more in the kingdom of eternity. They are not willing to spend their earthly lives, their time, energy and resources, to maximize their richness in Christ, our eternal inheritance. They are content with a superficial spirituality, content with merely being saved, and are not eager to seek the riches of the kingdom of heaven. They, like the Laodicean people, appear to be rich and lack nothing, seemingly having both the material wealth and a self-claimed spirituality, but in reality, they are poor. They are destitute of the experience of God and of the life of Christ, because they are not willing to obey. But the experience of God and the knowledge of Christ come with a price; to obtain them, it often requires sacrifices; to obtain them, it often requires dying, dying to self, dying to the world and dying to the flesh. Therefore Jesus spoke to the Laodicean church: "I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich;" (Revelation 3:18). This "buy" means to a pay price, to invest with our life. It means to give our lives to God in order to obtain His life. The problem of the Laodicean church was not that they were wealthy. Material wealth by itself is not a bad thing. God often blesses us with abundant material wealth so we may use it for our physical needs and use it to advance His kingdom. The curse of the Laodicean church is that they were so content with their material wealth that they were deficient in the hunger and thirst for God, for His righteousness and for His truth. This was their greatest woe. Jesus said in the beatitudes: "Blessed are the poor in spirit,…Blessed are those who mourn,....Blessed are the meek,…Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,...." (Matthew 5:3-6). The spiritual conditions of the Laodicean people were the opposite of those blessed conditions Jesus spoke of. The deceitfulness of wealth blinded their eyes, such that they became haughty in spirit, became proud and self-content, and became lukewarm and indifferent to the gospel truth. They did not realize that the wealth they took pride in was simply like a depreciating stock, whose value would fade away very soon; they did not realize that the only wise thing for them to do is to invest their lives in God’s kingdom, so they may store up the heavenly wealth for eternity. A sharp contrast with the Laodicean church is the Smyrna church. The Laodicean church thought they were rich, but the Lord said they were truly poor: "You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." (Revelation 3:17). In contrast, the Smyrna church was in poverty and under persecution, but the Lord said they were truly rich: "I know your afflictions and your poverty—yet you are rich!" (Revelation 2:9). Why were they rich?—because they were willing to pay; they were willing to give up their lives for God; they were not afraid of losing the ease and comfort of the world and would rather die for the truth than to compromise their faith! The Laodicean church prided themselves on having everything; but it was the only church among the seven churches Jesus spoke to in Revelation that received not a single approval but only reproof from Jesus. In contrast, the Smyrna church was considered destitute and unsuccessful by the worldly standard, but it was one of the only two churches among the seven that Jesus approved of without a single reproof. Therefore what matters most is not how long we may live or how much we may have in this world; what matters most is whether we have lived for God the Most High. When we live for God wholeheartedly, when we give our utmost to His Highest, we achieve the highest value of our lives. And we will become the richest persons in the eternal kingdom.
====================================== Here are the upcoming sections that I have yet to write.
Here I will write about eight health laws called NEW START.
Footnotes Logos is an ancient Greek word, meaning reason and the original cause for the universe being manifested by speech. It is translated as "the Word" in John 1:1 in the Bible. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning…" (John 1:1). Back to reading. God called Himself I AM when he spoke to Moses at
the burning bush. God said,
"I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I
AM has sent me to you.’" (Exodus 3:14).
This title reflects God’s self-existing and
eternal nature. Jesus declared himself to be "I AM." "…before
Abraham was born, I am!" (John 8:58). This
indicates Jesus' divinity and his eternal oneness with God. Back
to reading.
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